Erotic Notion #11: The Reluctant Lover (for Female Readers)
By Hapax Legomenon

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(If you are a male reader, you should read this story before reading this one).

One night, when they were in bed, he confessed his most secret sexual fantasy.

At first, she just laughed, but as he spent a good 10-15 minutes describing the fantasy in detail, she realized it was clearly something that he had been contemplating for a long time. She was dumbfounded … even appalled. He had always seemed so sweet, so sheltered. Yet his fantasy seemed weirder and kinkier than anything she had ever imagined.

"You may think I'm joking," he said. "But I'm not...."

"Yes, I see that," she said.

"I just thought it would be good to spice things up in the bedroom department."

"Wait – do you think there is a problem with our sex lives?"

He paused three seconds and chuckled. "I had wondered if you would react that way," he said.

He wanted – He wanted her to –

"How did you become interested in that?" she asked.

"I read it in a book. And then I googled it on the Internet. I was too embarrassed to do it in real life. But since we are comfortable in our relationship, maybe now it's time to try it for real."

She wanted to know more, but he brushed off her questions with vague words and a kiss. Then he talked about trying it for real on Saturday (three days from now).

She couldn't believe his idea. Was he kidding? She knew that certain people had these kinds of fantasies, but she never expected her boyfriend to be one of them. Variety in the bedroom was great, but acting out this kind of fantasy was crossing a line. Was she ready for that?

"If you have a problem with it, I understand," he said. "But trying new and naughty things can be good for our sex lives. "

"Maybe it's one of those fantasies that is better to contemplate than to actually experience," she said.

"Oh, don't be such a baby!" he said. He enjoyed calling attention to the fact that he was older and more sexually experienced.

"I'm not a baby. I'm very open-minded. That doesn't mean I have to agree to everything you suggest."

"Oh my god! What are you worried about? It will be fantastic." he said laughing. "You're complaining now, but we both know that it will totally get you wet. You will be ready to come in no time. "

"You assume many things," she said.

"That is true, but I also know what turn you on," he said.

She paused. Would it really be so bad?

"If it means so much to you," she said, "I guess I won't object to it."

He pounded his fist triumphantly. "Now my day is made. "

"I'm sure the next time I propose some bedroom game, you will be fine with it too. Or better yet: maybe you will keep the kitchen clean for a change."

"Maybe," he said.

She grabbed his arm playfully and said, "What do you mean, maybe?"

He laughed, removed her arm and teased her with another kiss. "You're adorable," he said and went into the living room.

For the rest of the night, they talked about the fantasy some more. She was just being nice, but she noticed how much he liked talking about it; just talking about it turned him on.

But she wasn't enthusiastic. This was his fantasy...not hers...or theirs. It was making her uncomfortable. But after getting over the initial shock, was she so opposed to it? Not really. If it meant so much to him, why not indulge him? She was aware that he was manipulating her tendency to be agreeable. In a way, she hated it, but still found it arousing. Making her man happy was something that came easily and naturally for her. She liked seeing the animal way he took his pleasures. She craved his controlling touch. She felt instinctively attuned to Scott's hungers; watching him act on sexual impulses was a major turn on ... no matter how kinky. (That was why anger from their quarrels always dissipated, and why he usually persuaded her to attend boring sports events). Sometimes she wondered if what he called "love" was simply his appreciation for her efforts to please him. Was he taking her for granted?

She guessed that trying it once would be enough for him to get it out of his system.

She had no idea where this strange fantasy came from. Was it something from childhood? She knew that deep down, this crazy desire had nothing to do with her. On the outside, he was a soft and gentle man, but in private he had a selfish and controlling side. It was her curse (or privilege perhaps) to have to appease his deepest psychological needs.

The thought of it crossed her mind again … and even disgusted her. At least, she wouldn't need to think about it until Saturday.

But Saturday came. In the morning, when she was preparing breakfast, he walked by and whispered into her ear, "Are you ready for tonight?"

"Sure," she replied, trying to hide her nervousness.

"Everything is arranged. This is going to be great," he said.

"And what if it isn't?"

"Oh....attitude. I like it. Getting a little worried?" he said, stroking her ear playfully.

"Maybe," she said. "But I have only one question."

"Tell me."


(For more information about the last line of this story, read this page ).

Written June 2009

Making this man happy was something that came easily and naturally for her. She liked the animal way he took his pleasures. She craved his controlling touch.
John Collier, Lilith
John Collier (1850-1934) Lilith, 1892
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