Erotic Notion #41 Coming Attractions
By Hapax Legomenon
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Press play – a zippy disco tune begins, followed by the face of a bearded, ferocious-looking man. Who dares disturb the Wonderful Wizard of Lust? Switch to frightened face of a teenage girl in braids and miniskirt. You're no wizard, she says. Just a very bad man! And you're a bad girl, the man says, grabbing at her butt and giving it a spank. Ripe Mango Take Two Productions presents the movie hailed by critics as this decade's hottest. Starring the new teen sensation, Jody Garland (shown stuffing a cock in her mouth and holding back her hair for the camera), Penthouse Pet also voted Best New Actress of 1984 by Adult Film World. Why are you called munchkins? she asks with mock innocence to four men on their knees. It's easier if we show you, says one of them. Change to all four kissing a different part of her body while an erect penis ejaculates on her face. Also starring – I want those glass slippers! – Terri Hall, as the Wicked Witch of the West, whose desires, needless to say, are a little unusual. Dorothy, she announces, I have two dildoes for you today. One for your pussy and one for your ass. But I'm a virgin, Dorothy cries. I'm a virgin!

A model house dangles from a string in imitation of a tornado's whirl, and the same girl lies unruffled in bed sighing. If only my boyfriend would come I wouldn't be a virgin anymore, she says, sliding her hand underneath her skirt. Is this the way to the wizard? she asks a tall boy dressed up as a scarecrow. I need to reach Kansas by evening. I wouldn't mind seeing this wizard myself, the Scarecrow Boy says. Maybe he could teach me how to give a girl head. Well, I'm a girl, Dorothy replies, can I help? Cut to boy nuzzling her private parts while she gives a distorted laugh – ooooh, yeah! – pretending to be awash with orgasms – ooh, yeah – laughing at the camera. And our Dorothy meets other friends along the way. The Lecherous Lion – can the Wizard introduce me to a girl who loves it in the ass? Like this? she says, turning and bending over. And don't forget the Tin Man – Maybe the Wizard could find a girl willing to suck my gigantic cock, says a skinny black man standing with a barely rigid penis. Bring me the Wicked Witch's Dildo, yells the angry bearded face, and then all your requests will be granted!

So, you want my monster dildo? the dominatrix says with a smirk, her surgically-altered breasts jutting through her negligee. But first, Dorothy, I have one tiny favor – she laughs. Time to take off your clothes! Do I have to? The witch lies back, guiding Dorothy's mouth over her private parts, shaking and making exaggerated groans while the Scarecrow Boy and Tin Man stand watching. Of course, the Scarecrow boy adds, some people do go both ways. I'm melting, the Wicked Witch cries. How could you do this to me Dorothy – I'm melting.

Wonderful World of Lust is a place where little girls receive all kinds of new experiences. Back already? yells the Wizard, and Toto (actually a man crawling around with fake dog ears) pushes open a curtain. Behind it stands a man masturbating with one hand and holding a videocamera with the other. Pay no attention to that man! Can't you send me back to Kansas? Dorothy sobs. Not really, the Wizard admits, but if you take off your clothes, I can send you to paradise. The girl stands in the middle of a circle of dumb naked men who by now had doffed Oz costumes and assumed positions; the Wizard (a paunchy Italian fellow with tattoos on his arm) pushed himself into her slender opening, and suddenly all four men were around her and inside her pushing and licking and kissing indiscriminate parts of her skin; the girl, precariously balanced between the tug of war for her limbs, made apathetic sucking sounds on the black dick though her face was hidden by long dangling hair. As she turns to face the camera, she stares with weary insensate eyes – was she tired? drugged? basking in male attention? despising her assignment? thinking about her next manicure? The girl turns her head, and the camera moves from a facial closeup to a long shot, and while the announcer continues the salespitch, the scene is watched with horror and revulsion and half-interest, beholding the art of defilement, where superstars are the ones most easily pushed around, thrust into, spread apart, ejaculated over, reamed in every available crevice; and still, after it is over, they present a smile or giggle; yes, it was only a dream, a dream smeared over the eyes of onlookers; behind that smile was a willingness to play any part and smile at any crudeness, never to take things seriously – after all, it was only sex – a smile still engaging though jaded with commercial repetition (was it once despair?), a smile now an artifact of a humanity she once knew, a laughter she once felt, a world she once loved which now was fucking her in the ass. And if she dreamed, it was the dream of ten thousand obscene imaginations; comfort came from knowing that dreams turned into paychecks 30 minutes later. Coming soon, Dorothy says to me, licking her red painted lips, coming soon to a videostore near you, laughing, really laughing now, the unnatural howl of a beautiful girl bewitched.

Written, December 1993

Dedicated to sweet Colleen, Maryam, Shannon and all the others

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"Of course . . . some people do go both ways. . "
Pollaiuolo, Daphne and Apollo,
William Blake , Hecate, or the Three Fates , 1795
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